I have wanted to talk more about racism but I didn’t even know where to start but I’m going to just share a few thoughts based on my experience.
When I got privately fostered in Bournemouth with my first carers it was by far the most racist period of my life yet somewhat confusing because these carers use to get money from my mum, smile in my mums face yet behind close doors call me all the racist names
you can think of when they used to argue as a couple between themselves.
Not that I had anything to do with their conversation, it was more of an outburst of frustration because I happened to be there when they had their own problems.
I illustrate this on my first music project and even done a skit that shows one of many of those moments.
Talking to my mum recently I was surprised she was unaware of this.
But also the 7 year old me felt scared of my mum, the notion of African discipline Vs a new found freedom of playing I had in Bournemouth regardless of home life had me more focused on things that make sense for a young kid, such as simply making friends and playing outside.
Luckily through social workers who were more attentive to my wellbeing, I got moved to a better situation and have white foster parents I call family to this day because of the love and support they showed me regardless of colour.
There have been equally as obvious situations in my teenage years where I experienced racism outside of home and rage was typically my way of handling it. But talking to my carers and even police made me focus my energy in a direction I was in control of.
In my adult and professional life, honestly I haven’t experienced racism as overtly as during childhood which is partly why I held back on speaking about my experiences as I did not want to feel insensitive to the anger of other black people around the world. And I know my experience and voice is equally as valid but I can feel the tension and just wanted to articulate myself in a way that’s honest to my experience.
Feels good to speak up and it was partly inspired by reading @kemiwells latest #blm post.
Let’s continue to tell our truth, educate and hopefully help others to speak up to move forward.
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